Sabine Read online

  Dedication

  To our intrepid editor Anne, who always indulges our subgenre ADD, even when it includes crazy, crazy things. Thank you.

  Prologue

  Once, the kingdom stood united.

  It was strong then, strong enough to stand against invaders who sought to break it apart and seize parts of the whole as their own. The four races of shapeshifters fought together, died together and emerged victorious.

  It wasn’t until later, when the threats had died, that the kingdom fell apart. With no one to fight, no one purpose to unite them, they began to fracture.

  And then they began to fight one another.

  The four nations warred for generations, until the High Lord of the Plains and the High Lord of the Forest chose to put aside past grievances, though wolves and lions have ever been natural enemies. Together they brought peace to their people, and commanded their most trusted generals, the First Warlords, to help them drive the armies from the mountains and the navies from the seas back to their own territories.

  Brutal war reigned for years, but the new alliance emerged victorious. The High Lords and First Warlords parted as brothers and returned to their own lands, where they sought to enjoy the peace they’d struggled so hard to secure.

  But when the High Lord of the Forest returned to his palace, eager to greet his lover, he found that jealousy and betrayal had been at work in his court, and the battle for his personal peace had just begun.

  Chapter One

  No one talked about the wild woman in the forest.

  Mothers did not scare recalcitrant children into good behavior with stories of how the woman would snatch them from their beds as they slept. Green recruits to the warlords’ armies did not boast of how they’d fought her and bested her magic. There were no whispered rumors, no legends, no cautionary tales.

  Any of these things might have been, had anyone spoken of the woman in the first place. But no one did, for no one could.

  No one remembered her at all.

  The wolf studied the cabin.

  It was an ugly thing. Small and squat, built of dark stones packed with mud and topped with a wild roof thatched by inexpert hands. Even the High Lord of the Forest could recognize a poorly constructed hovel, for all that he had been bred a warrior and lived his days in a magnificent palace. This sad little hut couldn’t hope to keep out the weather—not the cold winter drafts rushing down from the mountains, or the heavy winds that whistled through the trees.

  Had he been in his other form, he might have frowned. Instead the wolf lowered his head and sniffed at the dried leaves, hardly able to believe that the sweet, familiar scent had led him here.

  The door opened and a woman stepped out. Her heavy cloak couldn’t conceal the curves that lay beneath it, nor could the rough hood hide hair like spun gold, glinting in the late-afternoon light.

  She froze, staring down at her hand on the leather latch, as if she did not dare look up.

  The wolf stepped forward, paws silent on the forest floor. When he stood just inside the clearing, he closed his eyes and called his other form. As easy as breathing, after so many years at war. He counted her heartbeats—three before he stood on two legs, clad in rough leathers and a sturdy cloak. They weren’t the extravagant sables and silks his mother pressed upon him, but a warrior’s clothing, attuned to him by magic so it would survive the change between forms. It could well be years before he was comfortable in anything else again.

  It had been years since he’d spoken to her. “Sabine.”

  “Ciar.” She turned and whispered something that sounded like either a plea or a prayer, though he could not make out the words.

  Whatever it was, it fell far from an explanation. “I did not expect to return from war only to find my rooms bare of any trace of you.”

  “You—” Confusion darkened her eyes, and she started forward only to draw up short. “You have been gone a very long time.”

  Their comfortable understanding of one another seemed to have vanished as surely as she had. A stranger stared at him, her energy and demeanor only a hair shy of feral. Not the easy woman he’d loved. “I went to war, Sabine. You know this.”

  “Yes, I know this,” she snapped, color rising in her pale cheeks. “I ceased to exist the day you left.”

  He’d left orders, and he wished he was more surprised they’d been disregarded. Sabine had been the mistress of his heart, but she lacked the noble blood his mother valued above all else. “I am sorry. You will tell me who ignored my command that you be treated with courtesy.”

  “You don’t understand,” she murmured, “and you should not have come.” Tears welled in her eyes.

  “Sabine.” He strode forward, reaching for her, and she shrank back.

  “No,” she growled, one hand held out as if to ward him off. “You mustn’t touch me.”

  War had hardened him. Some nights he woke in a cold sweat, sure that blood still slicked his skin. Did she see violence in him now? Did she fear him? “I intend you no harm.”

  Sabine laughed, a helpless noise that held no mirth. “You’re the only one left, Ciar, the most important. I won’t survive it if I lose you too.”

  Frustration brought the edge of his wolf to the surface, turned his words to a snarl. “I don’t understand.”

  She closed her eyes, hiding the longing that shone suddenly in their depths. “If you promise not to touch me, I will make some tea and explain. But you must swear it, on your life.”

  “I swear it.” On his sanity, perhaps. The long nights in his tent, dreaming of warm skin and full breasts, of the sweet heat of her body, even just the pleasure of holding her—never had he imagined coming home to such coldness.

  He hadn’t expected any of what he’d found upon his return home. Not the court full of near-strangers or his empty rooms, and certainly not a mother who had taken the presumptuous step of arranging his betrothal to woman he hardly knew.

  Ciar had left it behind—the palace, his mother, his so-called betrothed. Nothing had mattered but the woman before him, the one who watched him now as if trying to judge his sincerity.

  After a moment, Sabine unlatched the door and waved him inside.

  The hut was as uncomfortable as it looked, almost unbearably chilly until she knelt and stirred up the banked fire. Only then did she remove her cloak, revealing a simple dress of dark blue. “Sit, please.”

  She’d been young when she’d first come to his bed. Not so much younger than he himself, but if war had hardened him, then age had softened her. Oh, not all over—her body seemed more slender, perhaps, but with entrancing new curves that made his mouth water. Wicked hips, glorious breasts—

  He was not to touch her. It was hard not to sigh as he dropped to a hard wooden chair, his discomfort magnified by his acute arousal.

  Sabine hung a kettle over the fire and began to speak. “When you left, those at the palace were eager for me to go, as well. I refused. The chancellor offered me money, your mother asked me to think of what was best for you… The last thing they wanted to hear was that I’d promised myself to you.”

  “They didn’t need to be told. I made it clear to everyone that they were to treat you as my mate.”

  She hesitated at his words, and he saw her hands were shaking as she pulled two chipped cups from a cupboard beside the hearth. “They needed to be rid of me. Your mother had her witch lay a spell. You had gone, so she had to cast the magic on me.” She turned away. “Magic to make you forget me while you were away.”

  The words made no sense. “And yet here I am. I assure you, I thought of you every night.”

  It seemed to ease her. She glanced back at him and, for just a moment, she looked the way she once had—blushing at his attention. Yearning for his touch.

  She b
linked and it was gone. “Something must have gone wrong. Soon, no one at the palace could remember me, not even the witch.”

  All thoughts of lusty touches faded in a rush of worry. “When I asked about you, I thought my mother was doing what she has ever done—refusing to acknowledge any truth which does not please her.”

  “Far from it. It—” She dropped to sit across from him at the rough table, careful to keep her hands far from his, misery etched in every tense line of her body. “At first I thought it was a cruel joke, or perhaps an effect limited to the palace. When I traveled home to see my mother, I found out the truth.”

  Worry turned to horror. “No.”

  Sabine closed her eyes, as if it hurt her to make him listen. “It happens faster if I touch someone, or if they sleep. I don’t know why. Otherwise, I think I simply…fade.”

  So she’d lived alone, in the woods. In squalor. “How long?”

  A shudder took her. “I would have spared you this, Ciar. It won’t matter now, not for long, but you should know that.”

  Ominous words, but he chose to pretend there might be some innocuous meaning. “You’ve discovered a way to break the spell?”

  She flinched. “The witch was most affected, along with your mother. I tried to tell her what was happening, begged her to reverse the spell, but every time she turned away, she forgot I was there.”

  “Sabine. What do you mean, that it won’t matter for long?”

  “Your distance must have protected you from the spell’s effects. But my own mother forgot me, Ciar, and now so will you.”

  “Never.” The chair scraped on the rough-hewn floor as he shoved away from the table. “Do you honestly expect me to leave you here by yourself?”

  “I wish you would.” Her voice thickened with tears. “You don’t know what it’s like to look into someone’s eyes and see nothing. No hint of recognition, nothing. Think about it and tell me what would have been worse for you today—a cold reception, or if I hadn’t even remembered your face.”

  He reached out but checked the gesture. “Nothing could provide more torment than this. Knowing you suffer.”

  For the first time, her shoulders straightened and she looked almost calm. Peaceful. “Then I’ll take my solace in knowing I won’t torment you for long.”

  “You won’t,” he agreed quietly. “Because you and I are going to find the witch. She will not be able to forget the High Lord of the Forest when he stands before her.”

  Sabine smiled, though the expression fell short of reaching her eyes. “I appreciate that.”

  She didn’t believe him. Well enough, he’d give her reason to believe. “May I stay tonight?”

  “Of course.” She sprinkled dried herbs in each cup and poured steaming water over them. “You will always be welcome in my home.”

  And I will free you. A promise to them both.

  How sobering that fighting a war had seemed a less daunting task.

  Chapter Two

  Sabine had not slept.

  She’d tried, but every passing heartbeat had reminded her of the wolf who rested by the hearth, and the likelihood that he would wake, bleary-eyed and confused, and demand to know who she was and why she was there.

  It wouldn’t matter that this was her home, such as it was. His memories of arriving, perhaps even of tea and dinner, would be present but changed, stripped of her presence.

  The final heartbreak, the worst of all.

  In her stronger moments, she’d wished him complete forgetfulness, peace from the agony of loss that plagued her. In her weakest, she’d cried to the moon and stars, begged him to come for her. To save her.

  This was the reward for her selfishness.

  He stirred before dawn, coming to his feet in near silence and a tricky bit of magic that left him standing as a man, shoulders tense, one hand on the knife strapped to his hip. Confusion lit his eyes for one terrifying, miserable second, but it cleared when his gaze fell on her. “Sabine.”

  She didn’t dare move. “Ciar?”

  His gaze shifted, took in the rough cabin, the plain furniture. A frown curved his strong mouth. “Where are we?”

  Sudden fear seized her. He was forgetting. “My home. Don’t—don’t you remember?”

  “I—” His frown deepened. He strode to the table and eyed the chair he’d sat in the night before. “I sat here, and we talked. About…a curse?”

  “Yes.” Sabine heaved a relieved breath. Not touching him must have worked, somehow continued the suppression of the magic. “Yes, the curse. It makes people forget, but you remember.” She began to shake. “Ciar, you remember.”

  “Of course I remember.” But there was bluster in the words, a tiny hint of a lie. “Magic can do many things, but it will never strip you from my heart.”

  If it could strip a child from a mother’s heart, it could steal Sabine from his, and she knew it. Still… “Breakfast. I should make some breakfast, and we can talk—” She scrambled from the bed.

  His breath hissed out. When she turned she found Ciar’s gaze locked on her hips. It drifted slowly up, lingering on the curve of her breasts through her shift. His hands fisted. Heat filled his eyes. When he spoke, it was in a hoarse whisper. “I have missed you so very much.”

  Her body warmed, but she shivered under his gaze. Memories of him had sustained her even as she’d ached for his touch, and the temptation to fall into him was strong.

  Sabine shook herself. “I cannot touch you. I don’t know what would happen.” She might lose him yet, a risk she couldn’t bear to take.

  “I know.” He turned his back on her, laying his hand on the chair. His rough leather armor emphasized the new broadness of his shoulders, the intimidating bulk of a man who had lived as a soldier. “Forget breakfast. My packs are attuned to me. We’ll gather what you do not wish to leave behind and start back to the palace as wolves. It will be faster.”

  “You want to go to the palace?”

  “The witch may still be there. If not, I will find her. I know my mother’s contacts well.”

  So he’d meant the offer. Something inside Sabine mended suddenly, something she hadn’t realized was broken. “Thank you, Ciar.”

  “Do not thank me.” His words whipped through the cabin, harsh enough to cut. “It is because of me you suffer. You live in a hard, sad little hut, alone—”

  His hand clenched convulsively on the back of the chair, and the wood shattered in his grasp. When he opened his fist, blood welled where splinters of wood had pierced his skin.

  Sabine grabbed a clean apron and dipped it into the water bucket, only remembering at the last moment to hand it to him instead of ministering to his wounds herself. “It isn’t your fault. I knew they were desperate to rid themselves of me. I thought…”

  She’d thought she could handle it. That her will—and her love for Ciar—would triumph over any games they tried to play. But she hadn’t counted on the witch.

  “You’re mine to protect,” he whispered. “I would have mated you before I left, if I could have. I was almost selfish enough to do so, even knowing you’d be bound to solitude if I died.”

  “You were protecting me.” The last thing he’d wanted was to fall in battle and leave her alone and grieving him for the remainder of her days.

  “Was I?” He pulled a splinter from his hand, the gesture rough and careless. “Have I saved you from solitude, then?”

  Irritation pricked at her. “Very well, you left me to rot. Does it help to punish yourself?”

  He blotted at the blood on his hand and sighed. “Perhaps I feel as if I deserve it. The punishment as well as your anger.”

  She’d long since burned through any hurt or anger that he hadn’t come to rescue her. She was strong enough to survive on her own. “This is new for you, but I have had time to ponder where blame lies. You should not punish yourself.”

  Silence grew between them as he settled the cloth on the table and turned slowly. He bowed to her, not just an incline of
his head but a full movement, putting his head lower than hers. “Very well. Please pack your things, Sabine. We have many days of travel ahead of us.”

  “All right.” Everything she needed would fit into one of his packs, with plenty of room to spare. She took it wordlessly and crossed the room, where she began to tuck her belongings inside.

  It didn’t take long. The last thing she retrieved was the small glass vial she’d hidden behind a stack of wooden bowls. She checked the stopper and wrapped it in a spare bit of linen before shoving it in a small pouch sewn into the pack.

  It’s only in case, she told herself for the hundredth time. Just in case.

  She dressed quickly in her only remaining attuned garments and turned to Ciar, though she avoided his eyes as she held out the pack. “I’m ready.”

  Ciar could have run long into the night. He had, on the journey in search of her, snatching bits of sleep as he hunted rumors that faded to whispers. His time at war had, after all, accustomed him to hard living and exhaustion. He could have entrusted the bulk of his army to his First Warlord—Farran was more capable in the arts of death than Ciar would ever be—but a High Lord did not demand of his soldiers what he would not suffer himself.

  Sabine was strong—she’d always been strong—but she couldn’t tolerate the same punishing pace. After resting in a small village at noon, he led her toward a larger hamlet as the sun dipped in the west. A place where they could find a warm meal and a soft bed, where she could soak tired muscles in a hot bath.

  They stopped in a copse of trees on the edge of a large clearing. Though they’d traveled mostly in silence, he reached out to her now, calling on the magic to wind his thoughts with hers. “We’ll spend the night here.”

  She looked at the trees that surrounded them. “This will do.”

  “No,” he corrected. “We will change here and stay at the inn. I have been here before. The food is delicious, and the beds very soft.”

  In a moment, a heartbeat, she knelt before him in her human form. “Must we, Ciar?”